| /sigh......... |
[12 Jan 2009|10:16am] |
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Been awhile since I posted anything. Alot has been going on we moved to Abilene, TX for about 3 months I had a job at Walmart which is probably why I haven't posted just too dam busy between that and keeping up with FFXI events. Atm Russell and I are staying with his mom at her house til his next assignment starts, been here alomst a week she is going to have surgery on the 15th of Jan. So.. next thursday, I wish she comes through it well Russell is going to go to Springfield during her surgery and I;m staying behind at her house thinking of driving up on the next day bring flowers etc. Any way gonna jet lol dont have tons of time. I;ll try to update more!
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| Hotel Hell |
[24 Sep 2008|02:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 chipper |
] |
So, our house still without power, we are still in a hotel in Georgetown, TX. It's a nice town there's a nearby dog park that has agility equipment so I have gonna to play with the dog there a few times. Also, about two days ago we left to go do our laundry at the laundry mat which just happened to be near the historic district of this small town. So, I left Russell with the laundry and took our dog Aries for a long walk around the historic main square. It was beautiful, I love old architecture, and old churches. I love this little town, I wish his company would send us here but we don't know yet where they are going to send us. Pictures of Georgetown below.
We drove down to our house yesterday cleaned up and threw out loads of stuff, also grabbed the last bit of our things and headed back to Georgetown, what a horrible drive back to the hotel we had intended to be at the hotel by 8 pm. We got here at 10:30 pm, we left Lake Jackson at 4:15 and spent 3 hours going 50 miles, Houston traffic sucks. Tomorrow morning we are planning to head to West Plains, MO. We wanted to avoid eating out for 2 solid weeks so we bought cheese and crackers, summer sausage, those small tuna lunch kits and a few cans of soup. But that is getting old, hoping to get some home cooked food in MO.
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| Poem>> The Begining of the End |
[18 Sep 2008|11:05am] |
| [ |
mood |
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amused |
] |
The Begining of the End For years I slept
beneath ignorant thoughts,
waiting
fot the perfect time to strike.
Hybernating
for such a time as this,
this world of greediness
hungers for me.
Men make deals with imaginary devils,
for just a taste of my power.
I dream of what I will do to this world,
the thought even makes me weep.
Poor defenseless nature overcome
by stupidity,
do not blame me it is manunkind
who woke me to knock upon your door.
It is he who will suffer the most
in the end.
I wrote this poem in my senior year of high school, hope you enjoy.
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| Living in Limbo. |
[16 Sep 2008|10:24pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
] |
So we had to move hotels today because the one we were in didn't have any rooms for that night and on, we still don't know when we'll have power or sewer and we don't know if the house is still standing. Russell's company is trying to get his contract cancelled so we can just move to the next contract the hospital he is currently working for doesn't have any work for him. So, technically they want to keep him but the contract says that even if they don't schedule him they have to pay him, which is nice for us but we don't want to make them pay us since they just got hit with the hurricane.
So, atm we don't know whether we're going back or not. We still have some of our belongings in the house in Lake Jackson, so even if they place in another area we have to go back even if just for a day to get our stuff. Russell's company can't reach our landlord, we don't know if he evacuated or not.
Russell's company has mentioned Amarillo, Cleveland, SanAngelo and Denton TX, I think we're gonna try for Denton, but who knows at this point.
On a happier note, while searching for some food tonight after a long nap XD the GPS directed me to Burger King which ended up being an empty parking lot, but as I was turning 4 Deer walked by the passenger window, lol. I got my camera phone out and attempted to take a picture but it was too dark, darn!!
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| Finally some good news. |
[15 Sep 2008|03:29pm] |
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mood |
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content |
] |
So, Russell talked to his company today and they are going to pay for our hotel until we can move back into the house in Lake Jackson, this is so nice to hear. However we are only booked through tonight sooooo I had to cal around to find another hotel for tomorrow through who knows when. The hospital still says not to come back to work unless they call..... we haven't heard anything so we're staying here, no electric no sewer no thanks! They say the more people that come back the more stress on the sewer..... and it will start backing up into the streets. : / And it is hot as hell in Lake Jackson so no electric is insane imo. Atm I'm trying to keep from going... crazy, lol. Russel and I have been suffering from cabin fever, stuck in this hotel room, we trying to save money, now that his company is gonna pay for it maybe we can relax and go see some sights. Well also this hotel charges 50$ if they think you have left your dog unattended in your room, even if it doens't mess anything up.
I'll keep you updated!!
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| Hurricane Ike |
[13 Sep 2008|04:40pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
] |
Well, we made it to Austin, we stayed in the Super 8 Motel. Which was very nice very very clean, and staff was excellent, and only cost $60/night, but we only had a reservation for the first night, Thursday. Yesterday we had to check out by 11 am and couldn't check into the Ramada Inn until 3 pm, so we had to waste some time....
So we decided to take our dogs to the dog park in Round Rock, TX they had a blast this park had a mini agility course setup. I had them jumping and weaving they loved it I was running Dinah (dobe mix) through the course and Aries ran up from behind and did the course behind me in order without me knowing, Russell told me afterward, lol. They had big tubs where Daisey could dip her paws in, she wished it was a bit bigger so she could sit in the water, we were the only people at the park. The weather was nice it was hot but had a great breeze and not a lot of bugs; in Lake Jackson we have horrible bugs but maybe Ike blew them away, we can only hope.
If anyone watched the coverage on the hurricane to give you an idea of where we live, whenever they mention Surfside Beach we are about 10 miles away Freeport- 8 miles away; Clute- 2 miles away. Thursday night we slept about 4 hours and last night I slept from 11pm to 3 am then watched storm coverage til about 7:30 went downstairs to get breakfast (they have a free breakfast buffet here, may I say it is really really good) after the good breakfast and seeing that maybe our house wasn't too badly damaged (still don't know) I was able to fall asleep and got a good 5 hours more of good deep sleep. Before we left we put all perishable food in the freezer just hoping that if power went out that if it was frozen it wouldn't go bad however power has been out there for almost 24hours so I doubt any of our food is still good. Which is annoying cause we went grocery shopping less than a week ago.
We had a little drama here yesterday, when we showed up to the Ramada Inn they told us that they had a "four breathing entity policy" meaning 2 dogs 2 people, 3 dogs 1 person, 3 people 1 dog but we have 2 people 3 dogs. So the girl at the counter basically said one of our dogs had to sleep in the car or one of us would have too. I was so pissed cause I called 3 days prior and asked if they could take all of us and they had said no problem, also when I booked through Ramada 1-800 number they said it was np and called the hotel itself to verify. To say the least I was very distraught, even with me crying my eyes out the girl at the counter was like oh well not my problem. So I walked back to the car and called the 1-800 number again of course there was nothing they could do other than say sorry and that the room says 4 occupancy is max but normally hotels don't include pets in this, if they did they should state it somewhere. So I ended up calling the hotel and asking for the manager, unfortunately I didn't speak to the manager however a nice young man got on the phone and said all our dogs could stay np and we just had to sign a waiver. Al I can say is THANK YOU JUSTIN!!!
So in the end, we were able to stay all is good atm cept we are told we still can't return to Lake Jackson.
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| It's coming right for us!!!!! |
[11 Sep 2008|12:16am] |
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mood |
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anxious |
] |
Hurricane Ike is otw to the house we're renting. Mandatory evacuation for our county starts at 8 am tomorrow, I was panicing earlier, I obcess over things like this so much I made myself sick. : / So we have a reservation for one hotel for tomorrow night then another for fri-mon nights cause neither had available rooms for all nights. Anyway, I have packed everything I got a bag for me and the dogs have a bag then a bag for electronics and a bag for important papers. We do have renters insurance but I'd rather not deal with them if I don't have too.
We are evacuating to Austin, so maybe we can check out the area, we have been thinking of moving there for good.
Anyway I had written more but I deleted everything accidently and idk how to get it back, lol. Oh well, you all got the abridged version.
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| Poem>> A Father |
[09 Sep 2008|03:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sick |
] |
A Father
Was he man or merely a shell of a man?
My memory seems to fail
Speaking yet I heard nothing of himself
At times the distance was too great
And the pain was just too near
How could he turn away from me,
If indeed he was a man, a father?
Sometimes his closeness scared me
When blind rage consumed him
For how could a man, a father
Be so close and yet hardly there at all
Empty shell of what a man, a father
Should be
Many years pass, still in his place
Still emotionless
Still not really there
Still a man, a father
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| Feeling Better |
[03 Sep 2008|10:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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amused |
] |
I used the gift certificate Russell gave me for a mani/pedi today. OMG I needed that, in cali I was going every 2 weeks to get a mani/pedi, and it has been 7 weeks since my last one. Anyone man or woman who has never had a mani/pedi please go get it done I swear you'll thank me, lol. I keep trying to convince Russell to go, no luck! D: Sometimes I fall asleep in the chair while they massage my feet. XD
Oh also this older woman who sat next to me told me the people in this small town don't make new comers welcome. I told her I haven't been able to find a job, and she said if I just left a resume some places may have just thrown it out instead of filing it, idk if she is crazy or right lol. I had one person tell me I was over qualified and I didn't want to work there cause he wouldn't pay enough for someone like me, jealousy? Maybe. I told her idc what he pays, lol, which is true I just wanted a job!
Also Goliant helped me make my first photoshop picture and here it is!
Lol! Well today has been a better day all around.
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| Poem>> Alone |
[03 Sep 2008|10:32pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
] |
Alone The empty beating of my heart Wakes me as I lay in silence Shakes me as I think of times gone by What sense does a fool like me make? None, alone in this cruel world These busy streets, surrounded By people, still alone By choice, caused by my foolish pride I will never love again He stole my heart that day My very soul has been ripped from me I long for his return, Still alone Longing his caress, his silence His strong nature, his love Still alone The empty beating of my heart Wakes me as I lay in silence I dream of the past Surrounded by his loving embrace, I still belong to him in my mind The ever faithful dog that I am Begging for any sign of affection Still alone I fear my heart will fail This great pain I feel is unbearable Unlike any other I have felt Still alone The cruel world calls for me To be strong, to be fearless, I cannot I am drowning in this sea of emotions and pain Still alone The empty beating of my heart Wakes me as I lay in silence
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| 100 Things |
[02 Sep 2008|08:30pm] |
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mood |
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chipper |
] |
My 100 Things
I did this three years ago on Myspace and it was really fun, I thought I'd do it again to see if anything changed, lol.
1. I love poetry.
2. I could read it all day.
3. I love reading in general.
4. I am a closet nerd.
5. I have a lot of friends.
6. I love them all.
7. I can be shy.
8. I can be wild.
9. I love dancing in the rain.
10. I love acting goofy.
11. I love sitting with my man.
12. Quietly.
13. I love closeness.
14. I want to feel protected.
15. I want to feel safe.
16. Is that too much to ask?
17. I hold back.
18. I enjoy playing video games.
19. I am not very good at video games.
20. I enjoy training dogs.
21. I am good at it.
22. I would love to have my own dog training business.
23. I have been stopped in the street and been asked, would I train their dog?
24. I believe there is a lot to be interpreted in silence.
25. But I also love to talk.
26. Sometimes about nothing.
27. I want to go to Italy, France, London, Germany, everywhere.
28. I love art and sculpture.
29. I love musicals and opera.
30. I don't like going anywhere alone.
31. I take Tae Kwon Do, hiya!
32. I am only a yellow belt though.
33. I can kick your ass.
34. Ok probably not.
35. But I can try.
36. I loves my dogs.
37. I wish him well.
38. I hardly get sick.
39. When I do it is bad.
40. I never had the chicken pox.
41. I have never broken a bone.
42. I don't plan to.
43. I am a bit twisted.
44. My dad used to call me his "Tough Bitch".
45. This is not really true. I am not really tough.
46. I am one of 13 kids my father has, second to last, the youngest of his 11 daughters.
47. I was raised with the saying "Only pussies cry!"
48. Even when I was very young, and hurt.
49. I wouldn't cry.
50. I still can't cry in front of my father.
51. I did only once as an adult.
52. I was devastated, he walked away.
53. I love to do things for other people.
54. It makes me happy.
55. I am extremely loyal.
56. I will fight for my friends, if needed.
57. I have never needed too.
58. I give too much, I think.
59. Even to those who don't deserve it.
60. I will try anything twice.
61. And even more if I like it.
62. I am outgoing.
63. I am up for a challenge.
64. I loved Space ghost, is it still on?
65. I love Duel Masters.
66. I used to watch it every morning at 6 am on cartoon network.
67. I get my news from yahoo or sometimes I watch the local news at 5pm.
68. I get mesmerized by the Appliance Direct commercials, dam long pauses, gets me every time.
69. I am sensitive.
70. Even if it doesn't seem to hurt me, it did.
71. I kissed a girl, ok a couple of girls.
72. I was drunk, the first time not after that.
73. I liked it, I would do it again.
74. Only kissing.
75. I don't think I would take it any further.
76. I love men.
77. I love mens cologne.
78. I love polo sport, it's my favorite, I can't get enough of it.
79. I tease in public.
80. I am a bad girl.
81. I love PDA, I don't care who's watching.
82. I need guidance, a mentor.
83. I fear rejection.
84. Doesn't everyone though.
85. I fear being alone.
86. I fear losing friends.
87. I fear needles.
88. Although I want a tattoo badly, and a few piercings.
89. I have 6 piercings in my ears and I want 2 more.
90. I fear I won't get to say goodbye.
91. I fear lions, tigers and bears. Oh my!
92. I can be a smart ass or a sassy bitch sometimes.
93. I love to write, even if it is no good.
94. I love all kinds of music ABBA, Mamas and the Papas, Roger Miller, Willy Nelson, Patsy Cline, Neil Diamond, The carpenters, Jay-Z, Madonna, Snoop, Ludacris, Erykah Badu and everything in between.
95. I own some old records.
96. I don't own a record player.
97. I love to dance around the living room for no reason at all.
98. I make up silly songs on the fly.
99. I love jeans, and being bare foot.
100. I have had bad things happen to me, but who hasn't.
Ok that's it.
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[02 Sep 2008|08:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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calm |
] |
A New Day Begins
The dawn breaks
waking me from my deep slumber.
i hear the beautiful symphony the birds make,
and looking at Him i often wonder?
How could someone look so peaceful?
How could He love the wretched creature,
that lays next to Him now? i can be so evil.
Was i turned into this, or is it purely nature?
Everyday, i pay for my past sins,
with the loving lashings of His whips.
And now we lay here.....a new day begins
what wickedness do i have planned? The record skips,
the birds have flown away.
i watch Him yawn, and stretch a bit,
He opens His eyes, cracks a smile, looks my way.
i give Him all i am, and yet He takes more, a perfect fit.
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| Lately.... |
[31 Aug 2008|12:54am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
First off I'd like to say I love Russell very much and I love living with him, everyday I spend with him is wonderful. But there is a dark cloud since we moved to TX I have been feeling depressed. When we first moved here, I loved it and honestly I love TX, its just this really small town, I applied for a job everywhere and nothing. There is nothing to do here at all. And I find myself waking up, checking email and not knowing what to do with myself, just sitting there going sometimes 10-15 hours with out eating or drinking anything. Just in a slump. I can't do a lot around the house cause Russell is sleeping during the day. And we're trying to save for a house and since the move I'm not working so I don't want to be selfish and go do things that cost money, so I stay home. So, this last week I had a sort of break down, sobbing hysterically I couldn't hide how I was feeling from Russell. I still haven't told him how I fell like I'm being strangled here, I feel like I can't breathe here. The next morning when he came home he was late which happens from time to time whenever he has a difficult patient.
When Russell got home I found out why he was late.... he drove all over getting me things he went to Petsmart and enrolled me and one of the dogs in training class. Also he bought me a gift card for a spa day and a 50$ gift card only to be used to go to the movies or w/e I wanted.
So yesterday I decided to be brave and drive 2 hours to go watch an agility trial, there's nothing anywhere near us. I took Aries with me and we had a wonderful time, the show took place in College Station, TX I felt like I was in civilization again. The drive was beautiful. I am feeling better, and I can't wait til we move in 6 weeks, Russell has asked to move to the Austin area. Hopefully they can get us a contract there!!
Bubba~ The first dog I showed/trained in agility.
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| Poem>> My Drug |
[28 Aug 2008|08:50pm] |
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My Drug Your intoxicating aroma
The inviting taste of your lips
Your rough hands, move over my body
The warmth of your breath on my skin
The weight of your body, pressing into mine
Your grip on me leaves me helpless
You teeth graze and tease my flesh
You consume me
The music you make as our bodies crash
Your rhythm perfect, as we dance
The taste of you sweet nectar,
still lingers on my lips
The intensity of your eyes, looking down at me
Your strong arms holding me, as we explode
You are my drug, my ecstasy
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| Anniversary coming soon! Help! |
[23 Mar 2008|05:53pm] |
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So its my anniversary this week and i have absolutely no idea what to get Russell (aka neli for you ff ppls). He has everything and is extremely hard to shop for, if he wants something he just buys it. Our anniversary is this coming Wednesday the 26th. He already made a big deal out of getting me something really good. plus my birthday is 2 days later so that means 2-3 really good gifts from him and idk what to get him! I was thinking of an itunes gift card but that seems so... boring. But he loves music and is getting his ipod fixed so i thought it was a good idea. What do you guys think?
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| Poen>> Love |
[23 Mar 2008|05:47pm] |
Bathing in the warmth of your love
arms wrapped around me
snug in my surroundings
you watching over me
as i slumber peacefully
gently you wake me
as i feel the smooth caress
of your hands over my body
tracing my outline
letting your fingers linger
down into my sweetness
i feel your hot breath
against my flesh
causing my further arousal
lips softly kissing every inch
lower and lower i feel
your tongue teasing my body
feeling your breath over my
sweetness, groans escape
your bathing in the warmth
of my love
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| Christmas finally over!!!!! |
[02 Jan 2008|11:53am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 energetic |
] |
So haven't written in awhile.... been so busy at work. Stupid Christmas in retail. I saw several of our customers fighting with each other of stupid shit.
Well, my brother moved from FL to AZ where my mom lives. Her and her husband hooked him up. They got him an apartment, car and even found someone to help him find a good job. The place he was living in FL was quickly becoming a slum. He rented a room from his friend and everything was ok until his friend broke up with his girl friend. Then the guy was gone like 3 days at a time and instead of taking trash out to the curb he just tossed it out the back door. :/ So, eventually he had a 15-20 bag pile of stinking/rotting trash in their back yard. The guy had 2 dogs which he would not feed or give water for 2-4 days at a time and he never let them out... yet never cleaned up when they had a mess in the house. We found out tho neighbors had been complaining about the trash and if they even look in the house they see it's much worse. How can you own a house and treat it like that?
We are headed to AZ to visit my mom, her husband and my brother at the end of the month. I can't wait i haven't seen my brother in about 2 years. :D I'm sure my mom has many fun packed days planed! Adventure!!!!!!
See You Again!!!!!!
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| Poem>> Escape |
[02 Jan 2008|11:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 artistic |
] |
Escape Darkness shrouds my heart
and light is a pain it will not endure
The wandering of my mind
takes a long endless journey
into the deep trench of emotions
which clouds judgments and darkens my heart
all the more
At times it's as if my soul
is trying to escape this vessel
unable to bear it's scars
wishing to fly free instead of
being tied to a mind so
tortured with memories. 
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| Poem>> Inside Out |
[29 Oct 2007|11:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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amused |
] |
inside out inside i cry to be near you
outside i am strong
inside my heart is breaking
outside i'm glad your gone
inside my soul clings to you
outside i walk away
inside i am pleading
outside hurtful things i say
inside i crave your touch
outside i push you further
inside i am crushed
outside we are over
inside i want you near me
outside i won't look back
inside i wish my pride gone
outside my mind's on track
inside i cry to be near you
outside i am strong
inside wants to be insde out
outside i am strong
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| The last few days.... |
[12 Oct 2007|10:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
I have trained a few people as a cashier at my job and honestly.... either I'm a fucking genius (which may be possible ^^b) or most people are just stupid idiots. Basically you ring up each item.... and then follow the commands on the computer >.> it basically tells you what to do. A 5 year old could figure it out. One girl almost had a nervous break down cause she thought the front end supervisior was looking at her funny >.>; I asked her if she would be ok to take over while I was standing there, so she could ask me any questions she had.... "if you make me" was her answer. Grow some ballz plz this isnt neuro-surgery here, no ones life is at stake. When I was a supervisor... she would have been fired by now :x but i guess i'm just really mean >o!
Gonna catch some ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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semoura's journal
